Last night I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep and as happens on some nights, my mind started going and going. I was thinking about all the things going on in my life. I was thinking about the things that were going to be happening in the future. And I was also replaying things from the past. Maybe a quarter of all of this thinking was productive thinking. The other 3/4 was not helpful at all! All of the worrying. All of the debating. All of the rehashing. So why do our brains do this? It often happens when we’re laying in bed trying to fall asleep, right? For me, it’s probably because I haven’t been giving my brain processing time to do this during the day when I am better able to direct my thoughts. It’s waited for a quiet moment.. A moment with no distractions. My brain must think this is necessary for my survival or it wouldn’t do this. Personally, brain, I think sleep is more important than this time rehashing or worrying. So how do I bring my brain to that quiet place where sleep can come?
Here’s three tricks!
First, ask yourself questions about the present moment such as What do I hear, see, or feel right now? or What did I eat for breakfast today? or Where do I see the color blue? Simple questions like this have the ability to shift your focus away fromf your thoughts.
Have you ever heard the mind quieting trick of “give the dog a bone”? This references a yippy dog that just keeps yapping away until you give it something to chew on. Once they have a bone or something to focus their attention on, they quiet right down! This is the second trick. Our brains need the same thing sometimes. In Roald Dahl’s book, The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar, which is being made into a movie by Netflix, by the way, there’s a story about a man who learns to see without using his eyes. He begins his journey with a flickering candle flame. He tries over and over to be able to focus his mind on the flickering flame and builds up to the point where he can clear his mind and concentrate for extended periods of time. Something like a flickering flame or also in the book, picturing a loved one’s face. Picturing something that brings a positive emotion to your mind makes the time spent doubly effective. The “bone” can be a leaf fluttering in the wind, a bar of soap, a smooth ball or marble, falling water, a favorite childhood spot, or anything!. Let your mind mentally focus on something distinct and if your thoughts wander, keep bringing them back.
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The third trick for getting out of your head is moving into your body. Wiggle your toes, relax your shoulders, flex and then release some of your big muscle systems like your sitting muscles, back muscles or arms and legs, notice where you are feeling tight, notice where you in contact with a surface, notice the areas where you don’t feel any tension, stress, or temperature and try to bring that feeling out to the rest of your body. Notice your breath moving in and out. Relax your face muscles. Do a progressive muscle relaxation meditation. There are thousands of guided meditations available online. One easy place to find them is on Youtube. A free app with some guided meditations I can recommend is called Sanvello and I’ll link it in the show notes.
In summary, our brains like to ruminate and process. Our brains like to worry and prepare. And our brains are not the boss of us, we are the boss of our brains. If we want to be sleeping or if we want to still our mind, we can. Three ways for doing that are to ask yourself questions about the present moment such as What do I hear, see, or feel right now? Or direct your thoughts to something innate- a person, place or thing you are familiar with and direct your attention and thoughts to that one thing- turning and returning your thoughts as needed. Lastly, you can move from being in your head to being in your body- think about what’s going on inside you. Think about relaxing into sleep. Think about where your body is and how it feels. Find a neutral spot in your body and try to spread that feeling wider.
Remind our brains that although thinking is useful and helpful, right now it’s time to be still. There will be another time for thinking.
I hope those are usable tips and they can work for you with a little practice!
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